October’s here, which means it’s time to get scary with ghouls, goblins, and ghosts! Get into the Halloween spirit by ghosting every single one of your friends. There’s nothing spookier than having 32 unanswered texts that you just don’t have the energy to deal with right now!
And people pay money for haunted houses??
It’s easy! Text comes in? Close the app and keep scrolling your Instagram feed. A text from someone else? Pretend it didn’t happen. Another text from the first person? You guessed it! Put your phone down and try not to think about it. Experience agonizing shame as more and more texts pile up, compounding what was once a tiny issue into a huge soul-crushing mess.
No turning back now!
Once you’ve successfully ghosted everyone, go ahead and live the rest of your life as a hermit! Because there’s definitely no way you can come back from this one. The most frightening thought of all is having to come back on your hands and knees to all your friends with the bullshit excuse “sorry I just saw this”. What does that even mean??
And there you have it! Dig yourself into a progressively spookier and spookier hole from which you can’t dig your way out. Happy Halloween!
