Uh oh! Thanksgiving’s right around the corner, and you know what that means: talking politics with your racist grandpa. Well when you get asked what you think about the border wall, just respond with the Wi-Fi password! Repeat this over and over until everyone’s staring mindlessly at their phones.
Wow, talk about avoiding a party fowl!
The night might go like this: you’ve just finished setting the table, your guests are all seated, and then anyone opens their mouth about anything. BAM. POLITICAL ARGUMENT. Here’s what you say to defuse the situation: “Well I think there’s lots of geopolitical factors involved with YUCKYRAT13 YUCKYRAT13 YUCKYRAT13.” If they don’t get the hint, just point to your phone and your router as you continue shouting the Wi-Fi password in their faces.
Take that, racism!
Some guests will get the message, enter the Wi-Fi password, and be glued to their phone the rest of the night. But not everyone’ll understand…oh you know old people and technology. Then it’s time to start dropping subtle hints. For example, if you get asked about the football kneeling controversy, respond with something like “I bet there’s lots of crazy football scores right now! YUCKYRAT13 will help you check your sports app.” If you get called a communist, fire back with “yeah I’m trapped in this capitalistic hellscape too, but I bet YUCKYRAT13 will get us some great Black Friday deals!”
Never feel obligated to engage in a political discussion at the dinner table! Just don’t engage in any discussion that isn’t your Wi-Fi password. Happy YUCKYRAT13, oops, Thanksgiving!
