It’s almost the end of Cyber Monday, a holiday that merges two great American traditions: retail therapy and crippling internet addiction! We’ve spent all day online, comparing deals on everything from salad bowls to portable generators. But hands down, the best Cyber Monday deal was found on the deep web: 33% off a hitman service that comes and shoots you in the face!
You really dodged a bullet on those exorbitant prices!
Very few people know of the Dark Web, which is why this deal was the best-kept secret of Cyber Monday. On the Dark Web, there’s all sorts of things you can buy, like drugs, cryptocurrencies, and, you guessed it, professional self-assassination services. And one, DarkGunz, is offering its services at a highly discounted rate! Both packages end up with you shot in the face, but the gold package is a premium white-glove service, with an assassin surprising you from the shadows, offering you a chance to say your last words, and then shooting you at point-blank range!
What service! There’s only a few hours left of this deal, so take advantage while you can. Happy shopping!
